Cry
by GraydonGirl
Summary: The five times that Quinn Fabray cried for Rachel Berry. Oneshot.


_one._

The first time that Quinn Fabray cried for Rachel Berry she tried to convince herself it wasn't for the brunette in question. Something you should know about Quinn Fabray is that she almost never cried. In fact, she took pride in the fact that she didn't need to cry. She was too strong for that. At least she was most of the time. But Quinn was never one for tears. She always thought there was no reason to cry because if you were crying it means you were wasting time that could be better used to move on.

But when she learned that Rachel Berry was in fact, in love with Finn Hudson, Quinn ran for the nearest bathroom and cried her eyes out.

"Q?" she could hear someone call her name out from inside the girls' bathroom. It was Brittany, and no doubt Santana was by her side.

She kicked back another sniffle and tried to wipe her puffy eyes as she creaked open the stall door.

"H-He chose her" she cried out softly as she fell into Brittany's kind embrace. Brittany hugged her tightly and Quinn could even feel the comforting hand of Santana on her back.

"you know, Finn Hudson isn't even that great or whatever" Santana says. "Plus, you're way hotter than treasure trail."

"ugh, I hate Rachel Berry" she sniffled again.

"It's okay, Q. You have us" Brittany tries to comfort her yet again.

"What's so great about Finn anyways? He's practically ogre sized, he has a stupid grin on his face 90% of the time, and he's not even smart! He's not rich, he's not that good looking, and from what I hear he sucks in bed. There is absolutely nothing attractive about him"

"he's really kind" Quinn countered.

"like I said, there's nothing attractive about him." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Maybe it's not Finn that Q is crying over" Brittany says.

She was the first person to say it, ever.

* * *

_two._

The second time Quinn cried for Rachel Berry was the day she finally confessed her love for her. Figures it would take Quinn all of high school to finally come to terms with her feelings. So there she was, on the last day of school, standing proudly in her red cap and gown. The smiles danced on everyone's faces made it such a happy occasion. That's probably where she got some of her confidence from. After the ceremony the whole glee club was gathering at Breadsticks for a celebration dinner, but before they did Quinn caught up with Rachel in the parking lot, calling after her and running toward her as if a dramatic scene from the movies. Rachel did love the dramatic moments of life after all.

Quinn had it all planned out, she would tell Rachel her feelings and Rachel would kiss her. Okay, so it wasn't much of a plan as it was a dream, but it was at least a possibility right?

"Rachel!" she called out, picking up her gown to lift so she would trip as she ran across the concrete to her sort-of-friend as they had already established.

"Hello, Quinn! Do you need a ride to dinner?" Rachel asks, hanging off of her car door, just moment from getting in and meeting everyone at the restaurant.

"No" Quinn says and takes a moment to catch her breath. "I-… I needed to talk to you about something."

"it couldn't wait?" Rachel laughs, her perfect white teeth making an appearance. She smiled at how flustered Quinn had become. The surprisingly confident cheerleader and teenage mother was always one that, no matter the situation, always seemed to be in control of her emotions. But not now.

No, HBIC-Quinn and Beth's-mom-Quinn had nothing on in-love-with-Rachel-Quinn.

"I…" Quinn's voice caught in her throat.

"Quinn, are you okay? You look like you're about to have a heart attack?" Rachel smiles and rubs a soothing hand up and down Quinn's arm quickly.

"That Metro North pass…you're going to actually use it right?" Quinn blurts out.

"I said I would, didn't I?" Rachel asks, rhetorically.

The blonde shifted awkwardly, the words at the tip of her tongue.

"but that wasn't what you really wanted to talk about, was it?" Rachel asks, a bit more serious this time.

"No" Quinn shakes her head. Rachel always had a knack for reading Quinn's mind. "I just…I-I love you" Quinn shakes her head, tears barely brimming at her eyes at the upheaval of sudden emotions.

"I love you too, Quinn" Rachel said without hesitation. Rachel picks up both of Quinn's shaking hands in hers. "Your friendship means so much to me." She adds and Quinn's heart sinks a little at the compliment.

Those tears of excitement soon turn to tears of dread.

"Rach" Quinn shakes her head at her. She stares down at her cute graduation shoes for a moment before looking up into Rachel's eyes. And it didn't even take her two seconds of looking into those eyes to realized that she wanted to be kissing those lips.

Without a moment's hesitation Quinn pulled Rachel closer by their clasped hands and Quinn kissed her. Nothing deep, no tongues, no making out, just her lips against Rachel's. She pulls back and looks into those awaiting eyes and just sees…confusion.

"Q-Quinn" Rachel says, now flustered by Quinn's actions. Quinn searches those eyes for a glimmer of hope, but with every passing second she knows it's slowly disappearing. "I'm-I'm not…you and I, we were never... I'm sorry, if I ever led you on, but I don't feel-…_I'm with Finn_." Rachel manages to mumble quietly.

Quinn stares at her for a moment longer and the tears in her eyes slowly begin to fall. Rachel feels guilty for saying it immediately, but it's how she felt.

"I'm sorry" Quinn mumbles before pulling away. Rachel panics and before Quinn can take her hands back Rachel grabs them tighter and holds her back for a second.

"Wait! Please don't let this change anything between us, Quinn. We're still friends, right?" Rachel asks. Quinn can barely look at Rachel.

Little did Quinn know, Rachel thought it was because she hurt her.

Little did Rachel know, Quinn turned away because she couldn't bear to let Rachel see her cry.

"sure" Quinn says quietly before pulling her hands out of Rachel's. "I'll see you at dinner"

But Quinn didn't show up at dinner that night. In fact Rachel wouldn't see her at all that summer before everyone left for college.

Quinn promised herself that their talk after graduation would be the only time Quinn ever let Rachel see her cry.

* * *

_three._

Of course Quinn was never good at keeping her promises to herself.

The third time Quinn Fabray cried for Rachel Berry was exactly one week into the school year. Quinn had left Lima just two days after graduation. There was nothing left in the small town for her. Quinn didn't have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend for that matter, Beth was living with Shelby by this point, her parents had divorced, and her father was god knows where. Her older sister was still away at another college, as far away from the Fabrays as possible, and Quinn's mother had decided to sell the house once Quinn left for college in order to move into a smaller home closer to the rest of her family, and to Quinn.

So when Quinn told her mother she was ready to leave Lima, her mother was more than happy to oblige. Quinn helped her mom move to Philadelphia and stayed there for the summer to get her mom settled in.

Two months passed by quickly and before she knew it, Quinn was at Yale, becoming the person she always saw herself to be.

She was a different person outside of Lima. There were no more days of Cheerleading uniforms and teenage pregnancies or life threatening car accidents. No, now it was just Quinn, her books and a few select friends she made in her classes. She left Ohio behind on purpose, because she was ready to start a new life, whatever that may be.

So when one of her roommates told her she had a guest one week into school, Quinn was surprised to say the least.

She had three roommates, all nice girls, mostly quiet though. They were randomly selected to live together in the dorm rooms in a suite. They all shared a small kitchen, a living room and two bathrooms amongst them. Quinn didn't know much about them besides their names, where they were from and their major.

So when one of them knocked on her door saying she had a friend here Quinn automatically assumed her roommate, Jennifer, got her mixed up with someone else.

"A friend?" Quinn asks as she gets up to follow her roommate out of the room and into the living room where her guest is waiting for her. She turned the corner into the open area to see the petite brunette cordially sitting on the shared couch with her hands tightly tucked away in her lap.

As soon as she saw Quinn she stood up quickly and smoothed out her dress to look presentable.

"Rachel?" Quinn said in confusion. A wave of emotions quickly hits her, but it's okay because she's prepared herself for moments like these. She's trained her body to not create tears anymore.

"I'll leave you guys to it" Jennifer says politely before retreating back to her own room, leaving the two old high school friends by themselves.

"I um…I told you I would use the metro pass" Rachel says meekly.

"what are you doing here?" Quinn asked suddenly, not moving from her spot in the middle of the room.

"Well you ran off after graduation and no body knew where you went. You didn't even tell Santana and Brittany. You sold your house and moved away. I knew you'd at least be going to Yale this September. Thank god you at least told Santana what dorm room you were living in or I'd have to knock on every door in this damn building" Rachel says.

Quinn couldn't help but inwardly smile at the dedication Rachel showed to seeking her out.

"that didn't answer my question" Quinn informed her, causing Rachel to scowl.

"When I said we were friends, I meant it Quinn" Rachel says pointedly. "And I have to tell you, you're kind of bad at it. You couldn't tell me you were leaving? A phone call, a text, an email? I would have settled for an old fashioned letter! But you left without a single word. And after the way we left things I really worried about you."

"I'm fine" she said simply. It was so short, yet had a hint of sincerity to it.

"I can see that" Rachel added.

"great" Quinn chirped.

"Ugh! Quinn, you are so frustrating! You can't do this. You can't do these things and just leave. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I needed to get out of Lima"

"and you had to do it alone?" Rachel asks quietly. "Two months, Quinn. All you had to do was wait two months and we could have left that stupid town behind, but we could have done it together" Rachel says and Quinn quickly looks away.

Together? Rachel's definition of together obviously differed from Quinn's.

"what difference would it have made?" Quinn asks.

"neither of us would have been alone"

"except you weren't alone. You're with Finn. _I_ was alone."

"Finn left to join the armed forces two weeks after graduation. We broke up before he left, and you know I could have really used a friend then. And I thought, who else better knows what it's like to end a relationship with Finn Hudson than Quinn Fabray?" Rachel jokes and it's the first time Quinn cracks a smile.

"trust me, it's easy to get over" Quinn told her quietly.

"surprisingly, it was" Rachel nodded. "I sort of anticipated it in a weird way. But what I didn't anticipate was…the level of difficulty it took to get over _you_ leaving. And truth be told Quinn, I don't think I ever got over it."

"shouldn't I be the one who has trouble getting over it?"

"you kissed me and fled the state. What's a girl supposed to think after that?" Rachel asked.

"Can we talk about this in my room instead?" Quinn asks, realizing her roommates are probably listening through the paper-thin walls of their rooms. She walks toward my room without even waiting for Rachel to follow, but sure enough she does. Rachel takes a seat on the bed while Quinn leans up against the back of her door, just to keep her distance.

"So?" Rachel pauses to ask. "Are you going to explain or what?"

"You said no" Quinn states simply. "I said I liked you. You said no."

"First of all, you didn't say you liked me, you said you _loved_ me. And second of all, I didn't say no. There wasn't a yes or no question you proposed. In fact, there wasn't a question at all. You kissed me and I was with Finn"

"Semantics"

"No, it's not!" Rachel says angrily and stands up to pace in the room, but quickly realizes there isn't any space and sits back down.

"How was I supposed to know you had feelings for me, Quinn? I spent weeks beating myself up over what happened. I wished every day that you hadn't run away so that we could have talked about it. But you just left and I felt responsible. I was so worried that you would magically reappear one day with a new punk lifestyle re-emerging, or you'd go out and get pregnant again, or you'd turn into a heinous bitch."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me" Quinn murmured.

"Stop doing that! Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

"yes, I heard you. You felt bad for rejecting me and worried that I would self-destruct again. Well look at me, Rachel. I'm fine. I'm in one piece. I have blonde hair, I'm not pregnant and I like to think I'm not a _heinous bitch_." She teased almost.

"you're still missing the point" Rachel shook her head at Quinn.

"then tell me! Because I don't think I'll ever understand it"

"it's why I'm here Quinn. It's why I'm standing in your dorm room at Yale when I should be in New York. It's why I spent two months checking my phone and text messages and email and mailbox, praying that you would somehow let me know you were okay. It's why I broke up with Finn before he left."

"because you needed a friend?" Quinn exasperated.

"because I needed _you_!" Rachel yells before standing up and rushing over to Quinn to press her lips against the blonde's. Quinn freezes against the door that Rachel presses her up against. Her eyes quickly flutter shut and her hands reach around to Rachel's waist as Rachel's hands get lost in Quinn's short hair.

This kiss was soft, it was deep, there was tongue, it could even be classified as making out. It was definitely so much more than just her lips being pressed up against Rachel's. And when she pulled back and looked into those awaiting eyes…she doesn't see confusion at all.

Instead, Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes and saw the tears starting to fall and the smile spread across Quinn's face.

* * *

_four._

The fourth time Quinn cried for Rachel Berry, Rachel didn't even know it. She didn't see it, she didn't hear it, she knew nothing about it, and still to this day she doesn't know.

But just one year after having graduated from NYADA Rachel and Quinn had found themselves living together in New York City. But it was a special night, it was the night Rachel had been waiting for her whole life.

It was opening night.

Chicago had been running for several years now on and off, but for a few months it was on, and they had a new starring role opening, which would eventually be claimed by one, Rachel Berry.

Rachel had screamed for hours when she found out they had given her the coveted role of murderess, Velma Kelly. She had run lines with Quinn for weeks and she perfected every dance move with countless hours in the studio and the help of Brittany. And tonight all of her hard work would pay off. The reviewer had seen the dress rehearsal just a couple of days ago and gave Rachel a glowing review. Quinn would know, she walked passed the framed news article everyday in their shared bedroom.

Something along the lines of '_Rachel Berry, the brightest star Broadway has seen in a long time_.'

Rachel particularly liked it for the star reference. After all, gold stars were kind of her thing. Rachel knew it, Quinn knew it, and after tonight, everyone else would know it too.

It was opening night for Rachel's first show that wasn't off-Broadway, but on Broadway. She had finally made it. It was the pinnacle of her life, as Rachel so dramatically put it. Quinn was happy just to see her girlfriend so overjoyed. An overjoyed Rachel Berry is like Honey Boo Boo on Red Bull.

She was Rachel Berry in overdrive.

Quinn enjoyed seeing Rachel like that though. She spent the whole morning trying to make Rachel talk and laugh because Rachel was trying to preserve her voice for the show by not speaking. It was like telling a joke to the armed guards outside of Buckingham Palace. Rachel tried her best to hold her voice in, but when it came to Quinn there was no contest.

But when it came time for Rachel to go to the show early, Quinn kissed her farewell, told her to break a leg, and that she would see her in just a few hours. And as soon as Rachel had left the apartment Quinn ordered a dozen roses to be delivered to her dressing room. She was going to make this Rachel's perfect night.

And during Rachel's big closing number with her Roxie Hart co-star she saw Rachel dancing across in her glimmering black dress and began to cry. She watched as her girlfriend danced and sang with the biggest smile on her face and she knew it was real.

So Quinn cried, and she didn't even care that Brittany or Santana or Kurt could see. Quinn cried because she loved Rachel's passion and drive for the things she wanted and would do anything for. And this show was proof of that. This show was exactly why Quinn loved Rachel.

It made things easier for Quinn. It made her decisions easier and it made her worries disappear. It was Rachel's opening night, it was her dream come true. It was the greatest night of her life thus far.

It was also the night Quinn Fabray proposed to Rachel Berry.

* * *

_five._

The fifth time Quinn cried for Rachel Berry, it was an angelic moment. If Rachel's greatest day was opening night of Broadway, this was Quinn's greatest day.

Quinn had learned that tears don't always mean sadness. They don't mean weakness; they don't mean you need to hide yourself away from anyone. If anything, Quinn had learned what it meant to cry in front of other people. She learned there was beauty in the most morose of situations.

But the best part of it was that she had learned how to cry in the most blissful of situations too.

"it's not too late to back out, you know" Santana muttered beside Quinn, Brittany nudged her from behind, scolding her.

"back out of the best moment of my life? I don't think so" Quinn muttered back. She was facing forward while Brittany and Santana were facing the other way, all of them waiting impatiently so.

"if you say so, but just give me a sign, anything, start coughing and I'll make up an excuse to get out of here. I have a guy in working the border that can get people across like that" Santana said with a snap of her fingers. Quinn rolled my eyes at her and they both laughed at the moment. The music continues loudly and you could hear the creaking of the large doors open. Quinn couldn't quite bring herself to turn around in anticipation of it all.

"…oh man, wait till you see your girl, Q" Santana mumbles faintly. That's when Quinn knew she had to turn around.

And just down the aisle she could see Rachel Berry, a vision in white, walking toward her. She held a bouquet of white flowers in her hand, a veil over her head, and a smile gracing her lips. Her floor length, princess gown made her look like an angel. The tears began to burn at Quinn's eyes.

A gasp escaped her lips as she saw Rachel walking towards her. She took a step toward her almost and faltered quickly, realizing she didn't need to go anywhere, Rachel was coming to her.

It was a perfect sight. It was the greatest day of Quinn's life after all. Rachel and her fathers stopped at the end of the aisle, pulled back her veil and kissed her cheeks in unison before letting her go into the awaiting arms of Quinn.

Quinn smiled and gripped Rachel's hand as if she'd never let it go again. Rachel stood beside her and brought her free hand up to Quinn's tear stained cheeks.

The fifth time Quinn Fabray had cried for Rachel Berry was the moment she saw her soon-to-be wife on their wedding day.

"you're crying" Rachel whispered so quietly that only Quinn could hear.

"it's all for you." Quinn had whispered back.


End file.
